Slutty Sisters

a: have you been to cb2.com?
marimekko badding...

p: noooo?

a: GO! NOW!

p: i'm there

a: crate and barrel's cheaper, sluttier sister...
but still classy

p: ooo
do like the slutty sisters

a: yeah...it's easier to pay for what you get...

p: ...
sluts are rad!

Hookers are Cool

p: npz

a: wow...is it sad that i knew that you were saying there even though i've never seen that chat acronym before...
or whatever they're called

p: lol
no
what's sadder is one time i was talking to some girl and she wrote something like
'asldkfsffj'
and i was like
'away sorry lying down kinda... etc'

a: omg...

p: yea
she was like
...
you've been online for too long

a: haha
no kidding

p: and i was like
SHUTTUP I'M COOL

a: you are paul....you are cool....

p: that's what I pay the hookers to tell me

Sephora Salesman

p: i once was working at sephora
and this girl came in and i showed her the edible body glitter
she didn't believe me
but when i showed her it tasted like sugar, she was amazed
then...
i showed her the edible eye glitter
and she promptly ate it
however, it was not edible
and her tongue was covered with glitter
and it was way funny

a: omg

p: it was a friend though
so, it was kinda alright

a: your the worst salesman ever...
im never buying cosmetics from you cause im sure you will convince me, somehow, to eat it....
and i will fall for your ploy

p: because
...
i am evil
DUN DUN DUNnnnn

a: yes, very.

Eat Your Bath Products

p: so, i'm only buying origins facial products now
and i realized
"am i rich now"
i'm not really
but i figure buying stuff from there qualifies
but only facial products
...i still buy dove bar soap.

a: hahahaha
omg, my family and i were just talking about origins stuff on xmas....

p: lol
SOO expensive
and the facial wash burns your eyesssss

a: yeah, that and aveda....but i totally love aveda stuff...

p: i was freaking out and crying and shit
marianne couldn't stop laughing
yeaaaaa
a: I can't stop laughing
haha
hahahhahha
i can just picture you...
lol
frickin hilarious

p: yeaaa
it's like getting maced
but i did it to myself
it kinda sucked
...
but yea
i'm all about origins
even though it does blind me from time to time

a: i use this organic pineapple enzyme stuff and it does the same thing...and it tastes like soap that's been around for a million years mixed with vodka....it burns your tounge....
but it works
AND APPARENTLY....it's all natural

p: wait
why do you eat it
i thought it would taste like pineapple

a: i dont
...
it just got in my mouth...
on accident...
...
well, why do you mace yourself?
hm?
hm?
hmmmmm?

p: what really happened is that you sat down one sunday morning and decided to finally spread it on a bagel and chow down after smelling it's delicious smells all week.
it didn't turn out quite as good as you had hoped

a: right...damn...how dd you know..

p: i'm smrt

a: yeah, i like to experiment with my bath products...
mix em in drinks...
eat them, snort them...
bake them...
you know, the usual...

p: same with body butter
it's butter

a: haha
yeah
every morning....on my face and on my toast

My Dog's on LOST

p: are you at home home, or at your home

a: at MY home

p: oooo
sitting on the couch
under a blanket
furiously waiting for lost
to begin
jan
5th

a: AH!
thats my dog's 14th birthday!

p: lol
YOUR DOG IS SAWYER

a: hahahah
no...COMET
he'd die on the Island...of heat stroke...
he's a husky...
but then again...

p: i lub huskies
polar bears

a: he may fit in because of that....why would a husky be on an island?

p: your dog is one of the oceanic 6
...
my eye is itchy.