Pasta/Pizza...

p: when you said pizza/pasta
i thought
http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/post/114890270/dominos-three-cheese-mac-n-cheese-pasta-bread
YESSSSS

a: bllaaaahhhhh

oh man...I feel my cellulite growing just looking at that site

p: lol
i feel my brain collapsing

a: i feel my feet imploding into my ankles

p: i feel my nipples inverting

a: i feel hair growing in my mouth...
...and then french braiding my tongue

p: i feel my knees imploding upwards into my chest
and my heart strangling itself

a: i feel my ears turning into bacon

p: i feel my eyes eating away at my mouth

a: i feel my toenails turning into potato chips...
...and then eating them

p: i feel my elbows combusting into a fiery phoenix, rising from the ashes of the husk that once was me, now left a puddle of lard

a: you win.